For Everyone Mourning In Connecticut 12/14/12

For Everyone Mourning In Connecticut 12/14/12

I write this as a teacher, as mother, daughter, friend, and co-worker. 
I cannot begin to think of what it must feel to be on the other side of the phone receiver, 
or running to my son’s school after watching/hearing the news that his school just had a shooting occur, 
only to find out that he has been shot and now is dead. 

I cannot begin express the questions that must arise in your head as a parent: 
Why my child? Why his school? Why do this? Why? Just why? 
I cannot feel the devastation in your heart, and the empty feeling in your soul. 
The knowledge that that 5 or 6 year old child, the same who took your breath the moment they were born will no longer be there to laugh, cry, run, play or look at you. 

The feeling of no longer being able to hold your child and kiss them  goodnight everyday. 
I cannot begin to imagine the feelings and fears those children felt in the moment that ugly man walked in with a gun 
and what they were thinking. 
I cannot put myself in the shoes of those other innocent children who had to witness the sounds of gunshots, 
while their teacher tried to protect them and then only to have to see their friend in a pool of blood and no longer breathing. 

I am sadden to know that everyone in that town, will have been forever marked due to such tragedy. 
I sit here thinking as a mother of 5 year old,  that could have been my son’s school and, that could have been my son shot. 
And although I am eternally grateful to kiss my son and hold him so tight right now, I am truly mourning. 

Mourning for those parents, to whom no words will ever fill such void and remove the pain they are suffering. 
Mourning for those children who had to witness the horror and were stolen from the innocence resulting in fear and insecurities. Mourning for the adults that we taken from their partners, sons, daughters, and parents. 
Mourning for the teachers, administrators and staff members who will have to live with the question of what could I have done? 

May God help each and everyone of you in this circumstance, and may he give you strength. 
I am writing this to let you know that even though I am not there nor I am living through your devastation, my heart and soul is deeply sadden and crying.  I am too mourning for today.

May all the souls taken today Rest In Peace.

Sincerely,
Natalia S. M.